The Long Haul

In our groups, we show agreement by raising our hands and wiggling our fingers. This silent sign doesn’t interrupt the flow of conversation, but reminds the speaker that she/he/they are not alone.

You are not alone.

Though we may be separate, we are part of a linked community. At this time, more than any other period in history, the whole world is sharing a singular experience. We all receive new information daily. We all make adjustments to our definitions of “usual.” In these unusual times, we are all experiencing loss, pain and grief. We may be losing friends, family or community members. We mourn the swift dissolution of the structures and schedules that contain us. We miss the celebrations that mark all of life’s transitions.

For parents and children, the school has transformed entirely. We all learn new computer programs and try to support our kids, teachers and other parents as they make the abrupt transition from community learning to home learning. The comforting container of the academic year has changed shape. How do we replace the communal jostle of backpacks and the scratch and creak of bodies settling into desks? The flow of in person conversations? How do teachers reach out from a screen to connect with students? Who is slipping between the cracks? Getting lost?

Of course, there is joy to be found, and peace, and moments of solidarity and silliness. At our house, we’ve been watching movies together, finding comfort in old favorites. The teens are working as a team to clean up the kitchen after meals, and we’ve landed on a (very) loose daily schedule that includes some work, some rest and a break for lunch. We try to move our bodies every day. Our dogs are overwhelmed with happiness to sit next to us any time. It’s spring. Leaves are budding. Grass is poking out of the sidewalk. Flowers bloom where we forgot there could be blossoms.

THINK - What do you need to be comfortable? How can you satisfy these needs?

TALK - Describe a moment when you felt truly heard.

WRITE - Do a worry “dump.” Set a three minute timer and write without stopping. Let it all out. Rage, whine, whimper. When the timer goes off, take a deep breath. Practice this daily.

DO - Ask questions: “What do you think?” “What are your feelings about this?” “What would you like to do?”

BE - Look for signs of change. See how many pink, orange or yellow blossoms you can find each day.

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